Oh, You Crawled Out Of The Sea, Straight Into My Arms, Straight Into My Arms

i love my mister so much. without getting sucked up into clichés, he really is my rock. he's the one that makes me feel like i can do anything and that who makes me want to. life can be so hard sometimes; work brings you down, people let you down and sometimes for no reason you just feel down.

i can't wait to move onto the next instalment that life throws my way...more travel, buying our house of our own, beautiful babies bringing a smile to our faces...

but it is way too easy to look forward rather than around us and it really is time i started to appreciate what i have right now because from past experience you should never let anything pass you by. here's to being 25 and enjoying every moment of it!

show your face, livin' in the shadows like you got no name...enough to make a little girly go insane

i did what i never thought i would do today. i cried in a toilet cubicle at work. my boss managed to get so far under my skin today that i couldn't hold tears back. fortunately i was able to hold it until i got to the bathroom...i was not giving her the satisfaction of seeing her get to me.

i applied for a job last night that would be fantastic if i got it. it's right on path with what i want to do and i have come to realise you really do have to have passion for what you're doing so that the tough times are easier to get through. i would be taking a pay cut but right now my happiness, satisfaction and pride have to come first.

it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?

we go to school for thirteen years. for a lot of those years we look forward to being adults and finally finishing high school. we go to uni and get a job and spend a lot of our days looking forward to four weeks of holidays a year and look back fondly on the days when we had two weeks off every fourteen weeks and a whole summer to spend on the beach.

there are some things i miss about school and some things i am glad are long gone. at the moment i could think of nothing better than only having the commitment of school between 8.40am and 3.30pm and feeling like i was really achieving something.

i am in a job at the moment that it is slowly killing me inside. i feel like my blood boils from 8.30am to 5pm and i am made to feel worthless. i have always had trouble with anxiety and am currently taking medication for it but even that's not enough when it comes to going to work. i am treated like a complete idiot. thankfully i can remember that i've always been recognised in the past for my proactiveness, intelligence and common sense although i often wonder for how long those memories can get me through the day.

my boyfriend gives me a world of support but people can only listen to their loved ones' pain and suffering for so long. i need to get a new job before i really start to believe i am as useless and unintelligent as i am treated.

i'm as calm as a fruit stand in new york and maybe as strange

i found out today that ryan adams and the cardinals will be visiting my hometown very soon and i have to say i am very excited.
got kings of leon tickets last week, as well as tickets to two different music festivals this summer and cannot wait for it all to begin.

i want to ride my bicycle, i want to ride my bike

i am so in love with this bike! it is one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen.
i want to move to france with this bicycle and visit markets, ride along the river and fill the basket with baguettes, red wine, cheese and lavender.

these are just ghosts that broke my heart before i met you...

old lovers. old friends. old lives. old homes. old morals. old feelings. old thoughts. old dreams.

most things in our life become old and forgotten after a while, even when you swear some things never will. you can be the best of friends with someone for years in your childhood then you grow apart and as the years go on you don't even recognise them in the street.

past lovers can be your world one minute and a distant memory the next. when in love you feel like there is no possible way you could live without them, then a few years after you've parted, you struggle to remember how you lived with them.

friends come and go like seasons. when i look back at the friends i've had throughout my life, i know that all of them served a purpose at that time and that sometimes that's all they really needed to do. some are there for life but most are there for a time in your life, no matter how important or insignificant that time might seem.

too many people try to hang on to things for too long. holding a grudge. staying in love when it's no longer reciprocated. lifelong regrets about trivial things. paths not taken. dreams not fulfilled. making a mistake no matter how big or small.

everything happens for a reason. if your love for someone is unrequited it may be because the person you're meant to be with is only around the corner. if someone does you wrong, you need to assess whether what they did is worth losing a friendship over and if not, holding a grudge is not helping anyone. if a dream doesn't come true, build another one. life is only a rehearsal and would be boring if everything went exactly to plan.

in anything you do, go out on a high note. don’t drag your life down with thoughts of “what if” and yearning to live past lives again that, in all honesty would more than likely be disappointing if revisited. memories have a tendency to make everything better or worse than they actually were.

When one door closes, another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

Sidney J. Harris

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it: it's only for wallowing in.

Katherine Mansfield

for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room.

sadness is the worst feeling in the world. you can be sitting in a crowded room with a hundred people having the time of their lives and be the saddest person on earth. you can be in the arms of your lover and feel like your heart is getting ready to explode with pain. no matter what causes your sorrow, you question whether the world would just continue on as it is without you in it.

i’m feeling down tonight and i know that within the next few days the problems that are causing my sorrow will be solved and one day long forgotten but right now i feel like i want to pull my heart out and stomp on it until it breaks.

listening to ryan adams makes the pain feel so much more real and so much more warranted. if my mister didn’t exist i would make it my mission to fall in love with ryan and live on an old country estate where he could write his music and i could fall more and more in love with him every day. a man with feelings that he is not afraid to express is so much more a man than all of these pretentious idiots around who act like god’s gift to the world.